We were shown in quickly-- there was almost nobody else there. The weather was warm but rainy, so we again chose to dine in the outdoor patio area under an awning. As we passed through the main restaurant, I had the distinct impression that little if any cleaning had been done since the previous night's close. Everything looked disorganized and a bit grimy. There was a palpable air of waking-up-with-a-wicked-hangover about the place. Nobody seemed to want to be there.
Our waitress led us to a table in our requested location, then promptly disappeared. As we sat down, we realized that the table still had a fine layer of crumbs from the previous diners. Maybe we weren't the first ones there that day... or maybe the crumbs were from the night before. Shudder. When the waitress returned, she did wipe the table, but we had to ask.
The waitress took our drink orders. This time, Robin asked for a mojito. The waitress shook her head and said, "Sorry, we can't make those here." Can't make mojitos? Rum, mint, lime, simple syrup, and soda. What could be simpler? Whatever. Robin decided to try again with the margarita. I think I ordered a Pepsi again, figuring there was nothing much to screw up there.
As we waited for our drinks, we started to look around. The patio was even dirtier than it had been on our last visit. The cobblestone surface was festooned with fresher food and drink spills, crumbs, and cigarette butts. The tables and chairs were jumbled, as though they hadn't been rearranged after last night's bar crowd. Putting this aside, we began to peruse our menus. I was really in the mood for something like a clubhouse sandwich as I turned the page in anticipation. Wait a minute. This was the same menu we had when we were here for dinner. We stared at the plastic-coated pages in disbelief. Then our waitress returned with the drinks.
Robin's margarita was indeed on the rocks this time, but was rimmed with (wait for it) table salt. Again. She asked if she could get the proper, coarse salt, and the waitress told us that table salt was the only salt they had. This contradicted what the manager had told us on our previous visit. But we let it go. We asked if there was a lunch menu, but were told that this was the only menu they have. Well, how about any lunch specials? "Ummm, (giggle), not that I know of, but I'll check!" Maybe I'm wrong, but I though it was part of a wait staff's job to know about things like specials, and whether or not there are any. There weren't. We were forced to choose something from the burger-heavy menu that would pass for lunch fare on a muggy summer day.
The appetizer section offered nothing that wasn't heavy, deep-fried, or hot. There were a few dinner salads on offer, but after our previous experience with The Cottage's not-so-fresh fruits and veggies, neither of us was anxious to go that route. Robin finally selected the Chicken Smokehouse burger, and I settled for the Nacho Skillet from the apps page.
I don't remember if the food arrived promptly or not, as we were busily discussing our impressions. This was the moment when the concept of Forks In The Road was hatched. We had so much to say about our 2 visits to this restaurant that it seemed a shame to keep it to ourselves. And we figured we could find as much to say about pretty much any other restaurant, too. We could take it on the road in our new van, travelling the countryside in search of good, bad, and ugly restaurants wherever we may find them. Although we weren't finding much to recommend The Cottage, it will always have the dubious distincition of being the birthplace of Forks In The Road.
At some point, the food did arrive. Robin's was pretty good, with the smoked gouda and Rickard's Red barbecue sauce really making the dish. My nachos were okay. Just okay. The chips were kind of dry, and the cheese was stiff, as though it had been melted a while ago. They weren't hot at all. The salsa was fine, but the sour cream was served in a little lidded plastic container, like a slightly larger creamer tub you'd find in a diner. Not only did this make for crappy presentation, the top of the container wasn't wide enough to dip a chip. I guess I was supposed to scoop it out onto the plate, but then, why couldn't they have just done that in the kitchen? There was so little sour cream in the container that I had to ask for another one in the middle of the meal. To top it off, when we got the cheque, we realized that they had charged me for the second sour cream. Really. This flipped the switch from most-boring-nachos-I've-ever-had to most-insulting-nachos-I've ever-had.
Overall, The Cottage Waterfront Grill may be okay if you are just hungry and need to eat and don't really care what, or if you just want to have a few drinks at the bar (then spill them and toss your cigarette butts on the patio). But it really doesn't stand up to any closer inspection than that.
So what is the moral of the story? I think it goes something like this: Even though you may have a well-established, fixture-type restaurant in a town where most people are just visiting, you still need to make an effort. Running a restaurant is not exactly easy, and not always fun, so if your heart's not in it, why bother? Oh, and: Learn to make a mojito.
Rubric for The Cottage Waterfront Grill, Huntsville, Ontario, August 2012
Overall rating: 1.75 out of 4 stars
|
Casual Dining
|
Level 4
|
Level 3
|
Level 2
|
Level 1
|
|
Service
|
Friendly,
but not fakey - Yes
Prompt - Not really
Attire/appearance
– clean, appropriate - Mostly
Helpful
– offers suggestions, local knowledge, etc.- No
|
3
of the 4 criteria
|
2
of the 4 criteria
|
1
of the 4 criteria
|
|
Menu
|
Unique
specialty - No
Variety
– updated, more adventurous, good apps- burger toppings were slightly adventurous, but disappointing quality and lack of variety in selections overrode this
Price
- $25/entrée tops - Yes
Layout/grammar- OK
|
3
of the 4 criteria
|
2
of the 4 criteria
|
1
of the 4 criteria
|
|
Food
|
Fresh
– some good salads - We didn't try the salads, but other things were not so fresh
Flavourful - Yes, for the most part
Preparation
– as promised, portion size (more than is healthy but less than is
gluttonous)- Not as promised, and portion sizes of fries and onion rings were too small
Presentation - Lacking
|
3
of the 4 criteria
|
2
of the 4 criteria
|
1
of the 4 criteria
|
|
Atmosphere
|
Location
– view, setting, welcoming, accessibility - Great
Cleanliness
– bathroom, table (clean, not left wet) - Definitely not
Comfort
– chairs, tables, flow, noise level - Poor
Creativity
– design, decor - Average to poor
|
3
of the 4 criteria
|
2
of the 4 criteria
|
1
of the 4 criteria
|
|
X
factor
|
Anything
extra category -Nothing
How
well problems are dealt with - The one outstanding thing here. The manager was great. This is what added the extra quarter-star to the overall rating.
Added
touches/annoyances - Terrible bartending!
Birthdays,
celebrations - N/A
|
|
|
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